im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
