I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
someone owes me an orgasm
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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