but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
