you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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