Soap is not a condiment
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
