so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
