please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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