well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
