Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
