i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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