Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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