Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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