Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
