you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you bring me the toilet please
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
