i don't like sucking hair
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
