I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
