I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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