Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
