so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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