stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
