I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
