I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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