It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
