Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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