MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
