At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
