I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
