I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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