just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
