i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize