Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
