FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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