Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I won the penis lottery.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
