Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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