Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
