Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
