I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
