No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
