you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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