Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
