Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
