The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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