My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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