I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
