I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
