3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
