If that was your dad, he is hot
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
