We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
