At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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