ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he wants to bone in the snuggie
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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