I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
