Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You were trust falling into bushes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
