from now on my penis is your penis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
