HIV tests are more positive than that guy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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