she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
