She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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