your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
