Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
