Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize