Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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