Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
