Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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