Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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