I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
